ME

ME
Miss Ashley

Sunday, July 10, 2011

All About Ashley..A southern chick's story: Being an Adult

All About Ashley..A southern chick's story: Being an Adult: "I'm 25 years old, I'll be 26 in August and even though I do adult things and have for years I sometimes think when did I become an adult. Wh..."

Being an Adult

I'm 25 years old, I'll be 26 in August and even though I do adult things and have for years I sometimes think when did I become an adult. When did I make that cross over from kid to adult. Even when your a teenager you think in your head that your an adult but your not, you may do some things that are adult like, you have responsibilities but your not really an adult. You think you have adult problems but you really don't. Now some people do have to grow up fast, when you have a child young or you quit school and then have to fend for your self you have to be an adult before you should be. I didn't have a child young,  I didn't quit school and I didn't have to be an adult at 16, 17 or even 18. However because I had to work at 16 and my parents didn't make much money so if I wanted something like a car or extra clothing or to go out on weekends I worked and earned my money. I also wanted to be an adult because I met new people at my job, people who were out of school and had there own place and did what they wanted to and thats what I wanted. I was older than most of my class mates. So I moved out at 17 and lived with older people. I liked being able to do whatever I wanted to. I worked hard and made money. I went to school, then went to work and then I partied. I was thinking I was an adult because I had this freedom but I was acting like a kid. I did this for a while and after I graduated I just worked more and I paid my bills but instead of saving money I spent what I had left, I bought drugs, or clothes, went out to eat, bought things for my car whatever I wanted if I had the money I bought it. Then one day I realized I didn't want it anymore. I was addicted to drugs, no longer had my own place so I moved back home. I  got sober and was doing good. Then I lost my job 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I was so scared, I wanted to curl up in my Mom's arms and for her to make it all better, but I knew that wouldn't happen. I love my daughter and I love my life but I sometimes wonder when did I become an adult. It just trips me out that I'm 25, I have a kid, I'm about to get married. It's crazy isn't it. Am I the only one who thinks that way? Although I miss being a kid and I love looking back on my childhood and my teenage years but I look forward to being an adult and being a Mom and a wife. It scares the hell outta me but hell anything thats a challenge is gonna scare ya alittle right? I'm not where I would have like to be at 25 and I'm gonna have to work really hard to have the life I want but I will. Having a kid makes you very driven, even more than I used to be. I guess I just wanted to write this blog to let other's like me know that being an adult is sometimes scaring and you sometimes wonder when the hell did I become an adult, it's not that bad...you just have realize that just because your an adult doesn't mean the fun ends..it's just a different kind of fun :)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

St. Patty's Day

Well It's 7:08 pm, I'm sitting outside on my front porch smoking a cig, checking my facebook and twitter page....I'm kinda bored, My daughter left earlier today to go to her Daddy's, she normally goes to his house every weekend but this weekend he got her a day early because I'm going to keep her next weekend and that means he won't see her for a week and a half. Anyways I miss her already, I always miss her when she goes to his house but because my finance lives an hour away in Marshville when she goes to her Daddy's I go to his place so I still miss her but I have him around. I won't see him till tomorrow so I'm all alone today. I like having some time to myself every once in a while but it's St. Patrick's day and since I have a lot of Irish in my family it's normally a day I spend with friends and family, but I'm again all alone.... I've gotten a lot done today, I mean McKenna didn't leave till 4 and earlier in the day my sister stopped by with her 2 boys, my nephews, Gage aka Bubba and Greyson. Bubba is McKenna's age 2, so me and my sister were pregnant at the same time:) Greyson is 11 months and adorable, he's walking and just so freaking cute :) I love them so much<3 so I had fun playing with the kids and seeing my sister, Aprille. I have 2 full sister's Aprille is the middle child, she's 23 and Amber is the baby, 21. I also have a step brother, David 25 and step sister Codi 20. Anyways back to my day, which was fun and great but now I'm bored. I worked out, cleaned the house, cook dinner and ate, now I'm just sitting here. I'm sure everyone gets bored and it's not that I'm a loser.....lol b/c I'm not I'm awesome lol I just felt like writing and killing some time until a re run of Vampire Dairies and Nikita come on. But all in all I had a pretty good day, I'm alive so...lol Well let's talk about something else shall we, ummmm.......Well I know in my Long Summary post I stated that me and my finance Ian are still deciding on whether we won't to find a place here in Kannapolis or in the area, where all our friends and family are or I move in with him at his place in Marshville, which is such a beautiful place, I love the house, the yard and it's in the country so it's quiet and did I mention there's no rent, the place is paid for so we would only have to pay utilities. That sounds like the smartest way to go, it does but I think what I'm scared of is because we live so far no one will won't to come visit and that we will be doing most of the traveling back and forth. I don't mind because I love my family but the reason they might not want to come down is because gas is so high which also sucks for us driving back and forth. That also means I would have to find a job down there, which since it's not a big place there's not much to choose from or find one in a surrounding city and drive back and forth. But we should be able to manage seeing as how we don't have rent??? I just always thought I would stay near my family, that way if I have a bad day I can drive over to my Moms or sisters and be there in 5 mins. It's a tough decision and even if we decided to live here in Kannapolis it's not like we couldn't eventually move to his place if we needed to. But either way, I've got to move out of my place. I believe in my long summary I also mentioned that I had to move back in with my Dad and Step Mom when I split from McKenna's father, which I'm greatful and I love them both but I'm 25 and I can't stand living with parents anymore. I have been on my own since I was 17 and yea some bad luck came my way but I'm ready to MOVE!!! So whatever we decide we need to make it quick!! Well I'm done talking for now, I may write a new post later on something completely different, maybe something more interesting like sex drugs and rock N roll....?? Please leave you interesting comments and questions below LOL

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

He said She said

Well this has been a crazy few days, so everyone at one time or another has had people talk shit about them and most people have talked shit about someone else. We all do it and I doubt it will ever stop any time soon. The thing I hate is when you know someone is spreading lies about you but you can't find the source, it's just he said she said..... you never really know who to believe because this person is saying they heard it from so and so and that person heard it from someone else and it goes on and on. Normally your never going to find out the truth especially when it's all from people you can't really 100 percent trust. Yesterday I got a message from an ex-boyfriend's girlfriend well wife. I don't really know her, we've never really met but back around the time I dated the guy me and her didn't get along to well and that's common between girls who date the same guy. Well I didn't date him long and once we broke up I didn't really talk or see him, this was back in 2005. Well she hit me up saying that she heard from someone that they said my ex (her husband) was the father of my child. Now this is far from the truth seeing has how haven't been no where near this guy in 6 years and I know who the father of my child is. So she knew it wasn't true, I knew it wasn't true but we both wanted to know who started this. Neither of us want it going around because it makes both us look bad. This is something so retarded that it's hard to believe. We don't know if someone is trying to start shit between me and her, or her and him or just bad mouthing me. So we tried tracking the source and it just keeps going on... he said she said. Now I'm not gonna let this bother me too much because I know it's not true and the people that love and care about me would not believe this bull shit but why can't people own up to what they say. If you said it own up to it. I have talked plenty of shit before about people but everything I have said I would own up to it and more likely say it to that person's face. Now that I'm older I don't really talk that much shit about random bull shit and if I'm talking shit there's a good reason behind it but I'm  25, I'm tired of the high school he said she said. So can we all do our selves a favor and if you don't like someone and have the opportunity to talk shit them make sure you can own up to it and that you would say it to that person's face. Another thing, I think the person, whoever the source is said this thinking that because I don't talk to this guy anymore nor do I hang out with people he knows that this wouldn't get back to me, so next time just keep your mouth shut. I know it has to be someone from my past because the people I hang out with now don't even know who he is. But my message is, don't say it if you can't own it.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

A Long Summary

Well it's Sunday March 13th, 2:11pm, I want to catch y'all up on everything so far. Right now my life is pretty good and I'm happy but I do have problems and I get stressed just like everyone else, but I try not to let a few bad things get me down, that's why I surround my self with people who make me happy. That's what I love about my family and the few close friends I have, they love me for me. I have a big family, we didn't have much money growing up but having all the love and laughter around made it feel like we were rich. I'm a Mother now and I will make sure my kid(s) are surrounded by positive people. I have a daughter, McKenna, she's 2 going on 13 and I love her so much, she's my world. I'm no longer with her father but we're still friends.. I'm engaged to a great guy, Ian, we've been together for almost 2 years and we plan to get married either this October. Right now we're planning on moving in together but we're debating on where we will be living. We're both from Kannapolis and we have family that live in the area but he is now living an hour away and it's a beautiful place and I love it but it's in a small town in the country....so do we live in the city near our family and friends, or live in the beautiful country house in quiet?? I am currently living with my Dad and Step Mom, I moved in with them after me and Mckenna's father called it quits. I'm very lucky they let me move back home but I'm ready to move out. I have been out on my own since I was 17. I shared an apartment with friends until I became pregnant at 23 and I then moved in with the father. We tried doing the family thing and things were great for a while but we're better at being friends than being together. We had been friends since we were little, we dated off and on through out high school and although we care a lot about each other we weren't in love and we decided that staying together just because we had a child wasn't the right thing to do. So when McKenna was 7 months old I moved out and now things are great.  He's a great father and he's getting married as well, to a great girl and they have a son. They are great with McKenna and she loves her little brother. I'm very lucky to have him as the father, I know some woman are having to raise their kids alone with no help and I'm glad McKenna gets to see her father and he's there for her. So... although I'm not where I thought I'd be at 25, I love my life and the people in it. I know we're not the perfect family but I wouldn't trade any of them for anything.
I'm currently laid off and looking for work and I'm hoping to find something soon. That's probably the most stressful thing in my life right now and because of not having a job that causes stress in more ways than one. Trying to save up for a wedding and if we decide not to move up to Ian's we are going to have to save up for a place here. That's one good thing about moving to his place an hour away, no rent, but more money on gas to travel back and forth. But anyways that's my life in a long summary. I left out a good bit but will cross that path later. I'm just an typical 25 year old with a kid out of wedlock in the south, looking for a job, engaged and trying to find a place to start a home and a family:) I hope y'all like my story and trust me there's lots more to come, even though I say I'm a typical girl, I'm probably far from it, just wait and see. Till next time.............
                                                           XOXOXO Ashley

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Welcome

Welcome to All about Ashley!! I'm very excited, this is my first blog and I can't wait to get started. I will officially start blogging tomorrow but today since I spent so much time making and designing my blog, I don't know if I have time to write since I have to start dinner and I was suppose to start an hour ago lol. But I wanted to write a little welcome note...I hope everyone enjoys "All about Ashley" and feel free to leave any comments but please no trolling, I really don't care if you don't like my blog, if you don't then don't read it!!! Well I'll be back tomorrow if not later tonight with more of Ashley:)